This is going to be Legen, wait for it...

"This is gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant because the next word is -DAIRY!"

Ah, so simple, yet so entertaining. Even those of you who don't watch "How I Met Your Mother" (Monday Nights, 8pm on CBS, WATCH IT!) can appreciate the subtle awesomeness that is Barney Stinson. I kid you not, I cannot get through an episode of this show without laughing out loud. Here are just a few quotes that make me giggle.
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Barney: Merry Christmas to everyone! Well, everyone who believes in it, and even if you don't, may you get laid and be awesome tonight! I sure will. Sincerely, Barney Stinson.
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Barney: I slept with robin once, and i caught feelings...i caught feeling bad. i used protection and everything...
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[First scene of the series, in 2030]
Future Ted: Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.
Ted's Son: Are we being punished or something?
Future Ted: No.
Ted's Daughter: Dad, is this gonna take a while?
Future Ted: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life...
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Lily: Hey. I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like... my shirt. Kinda dont wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: [stops working and looks at Lily] No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
[Camera pans to show Ted is in the room]
Ted: Guys...boundaries!
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Robin: So what was it, a cockroach or a mouse?
Lily: It was a cockamouse!
Robin: What?
Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse, you know...
Barney: Did the horizontal, ten-legged, interspecies cha-cha?
Robin: So it was a cocka-potato-mouse?
Marshall: Don't make this sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse.
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Thanks to Wikiquote for helping me out!